Saturday, February 16, 2008
#6 Calling it Quits
For the last ten years I've spent almost every waking hour as a musician, practicing, performing, writing, arranging, and just learning about music in general. I've known since the first day I played my trumpet I was going to be a professional musician. Things went very well for a long time, I won a lot of competitions, was invited to perform at special events, and got to meet and learn from some very famous people. Recently though I have started to lose my passion for music. Something is missing that used to call to me. I no longer seek out playing opportunities, I have a million things I'd rather do than practice, and I could see myself working a 9-5 like everybody else. I suppose it's true what they say about finding yourself in college, I just wish it didn't take 4 years and $80K. I will finish out my degree at TCU as a Music Performance Major and see where it takes me but it's looking more and more like I picked a major that I liked and I'm going to live in a box because of it!
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3 comments:
Hmmm, maybe you're just too busy right now with school? Maybe that old "spark" will flicker again at a later date... :o)
I chose to respond to this blog because I, too, feel a burning passion for a fine art. I am a full-time dancer and it gets very hectic at times. At age two and a half I begged my mom to take me to ballet class so that I could wear a sparkly tutu and a tiara just like the ballerinas I idolized. It was at age two and a half that I met the love of my life, and we have had a rocky relationship ever since. I have been totally in love with ballet, but it has always pushed me to reach my full potential. It is an unforgiving place to be, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Dancing has always made me feel alive. Without it, I don't breathe. However, ballet demands perfection. Critics would argue that it is this flawless and unnatural atmosphere that draws audiences to the ballet. I mean, come on. Is it realistic to watch a woman walk around on her toes with a crown and tool skirt on? To me, yes, but to the "real world," not a chance. So many times I feel discouraged and out of place, but when I look at my life without dancing it doesn't make sense and that is what keeps my fire burning. It seems silly to crave a career that will have me living with nothing, but love does crazy things to people. Perhaps what you need is to spend a little less time around the music, just for a little while. I've been told that distance makes the heart grow fonder and maybe you can find truth in this statement. Whatever you decide to do, I hope that your choice makes you happy.
#7 Extra Credit
I was curious to see what you were calling quits to. I can relate to this one, I grew up my whole life playing soccer. I was going to play in college but I got injured in my senior year of playoffs. I cannot tell you how much I miss it, and it sounds like you really have a passion for music. I would do anything to go back and play again, but it would take a lot of time getting back into it and changing everything I’ve done without it. It is such a weird feeling to all of a sudden stop what you have been doing your whole life. It was a daily routine, and some days I would love it and others felt like I wanted to quit as well. Hopefully it is just one of those days, and keep doing what you love!
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