Saturday, February 16, 2008
#6 Calling it Quits
For the last ten years I've spent almost every waking hour as a musician, practicing, performing, writing, arranging, and just learning about music in general. I've known since the first day I played my trumpet I was going to be a professional musician. Things went very well for a long time, I won a lot of competitions, was invited to perform at special events, and got to meet and learn from some very famous people. Recently though I have started to lose my passion for music. Something is missing that used to call to me. I no longer seek out playing opportunities, I have a million things I'd rather do than practice, and I could see myself working a 9-5 like everybody else. I suppose it's true what they say about finding yourself in college, I just wish it didn't take 4 years and $80K. I will finish out my degree at TCU as a Music Performance Major and see where it takes me but it's looking more and more like I picked a major that I liked and I'm going to live in a box because of it!
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4 comments:
Hmmm, maybe you're just too busy right now with school? Maybe that old "spark" will flicker again at a later date... :o)
I chose to respond to this blog because I, too, feel a burning passion for a fine art. I am a full-time dancer and it gets very hectic at times. At age two and a half I begged my mom to take me to ballet class so that I could wear a sparkly tutu and a tiara just like the ballerinas I idolized. It was at age two and a half that I met the love of my life, and we have had a rocky relationship ever since. I have been totally in love with ballet, but it has always pushed me to reach my full potential. It is an unforgiving place to be, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Dancing has always made me feel alive. Without it, I don't breathe. However, ballet demands perfection. Critics would argue that it is this flawless and unnatural atmosphere that draws audiences to the ballet. I mean, come on. Is it realistic to watch a woman walk around on her toes with a crown and tool skirt on? To me, yes, but to the "real world," not a chance. So many times I feel discouraged and out of place, but when I look at my life without dancing it doesn't make sense and that is what keeps my fire burning. It seems silly to crave a career that will have me living with nothing, but love does crazy things to people. Perhaps what you need is to spend a little less time around the music, just for a little while. I've been told that distance makes the heart grow fonder and maybe you can find truth in this statement. Whatever you decide to do, I hope that your choice makes you happy.
#7 Extra Credit
This title caught my eye because there are many times when I've felt like it would be easier to just drop out of something than to work through it. When I saw the author of this blog, it also made me do a double take. To put it mildly, I would kill to be able to bust out the high notes you pull off with such ease. I quickly learned in TCU marching band, as a fellow trumpet player, that you were at the pinnacle of our section when it came to the upper register. Without any previous knowledge in psychology, I can understand where you're coming from since a close friend of mine from high school underwent the same thing. My friend, Tim Martin, is currently attending Eastman School of Music in New York. He was one of the top French horn players in the state of Texas in all four years of high school. In order to stay in love with what he does, he found another outlet in music that separates what he listens to and what he practices and performs. He listens to bands like The Mars Volta, Muse, and others who just do weird things with music so he can stay focused on the "classical" side of his life when he needs to and still enjoy it. I’m not saying that his outlet will be your godsend, but perhaps playing in a mariachi band or other lighthearted group on the weekends would brighten your mood.
#7 Extra Credit
I was curious to see what you were calling quits to. I can relate to this one, I grew up my whole life playing soccer. I was going to play in college but I got injured in my senior year of playoffs. I cannot tell you how much I miss it, and it sounds like you really have a passion for music. I would do anything to go back and play again, but it would take a lot of time getting back into it and changing everything I’ve done without it. It is such a weird feeling to all of a sudden stop what you have been doing your whole life. It was a daily routine, and some days I would love it and others felt like I wanted to quit as well. Hopefully it is just one of those days, and keep doing what you love!
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